Email Brother Dick

Indestructible Dick


Richard Warblerson

Prestigious Ryesmore University

Lambda Sigma Rho




Indestructibility, Flight, Super-Strength, Super-Powered Farts, Ability to Lay Indestructible Turds and other powers yet undiscovered.

Senor Cactus



Wilmington, DE

Beer, Boobies, Bongs, Babes, Beaches, Beaver

Freshman year I was on the bowling team, but I got kicked out after I threw up in the ball return.

music I can play loud enough to rattle the windows, Animal House, PSU, Revenge of the Nerds I-III, Porky's I-VIII and the Bible, it's where I hide my weed.

That fucking cactus, Gamma Iota Alpha, lack of beer, society's preconceived notions about wearing underwear in public.

The guys in my frat are really cool, except Bitter. He's a dick. Even that fat pledge we just got is not so bad. I farted right in his face when he fell asleep on the couch the other day and he didn't make a big deal about it like some people. I mean, you can either be cool when someone blows biscuits right into your eyes or you can rise above it and run to the bathroom and vomit like this guy did. What'shisname? The guy on fire. Good thing he wasn't on fire that day!

I'd like to meet a nice girl. Maybe she'd own a brewery or a monkey. Or maybe a brewery run by monkeys, but someone who will accept me for me. I don't want somebody who will change me. Adult diapers last longer than people think.

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