Email Brother Buzz



Edward "Buzz" DePhilio

Prestigious Ryesmore University

Lambda Sigma Rho




Ability to Project Sonic Waves of Concussive Force through his mouth.

Low Self-esteem.



Trenton, NJ

I enjoy the finer things in life: wine tasting, museums, designer fashions, public service, general interest magazines, fiscal solvency and moderate politics.

I'm active in the Student Government, I'm part of the Student Safety & Security Patrol and I'm active in the Young Republicans' Club. Technically, I'm still not a member. They keep moving the meetings, but I'm sure it's just an oversight on their part that they don't tell me where the next one will be.

Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, MTV's Cribs, the lottery

Hate is such a strong word to use. I dislike certain things about Ryesmore. Not that I'm complaining, I feel very privileged and honored to attend. How do you backspace on this thing? I really don't feel this is an appropriate website to point out the inadequacies of Ryesmore. I mean, not that there are any! Dean Calfinch, I hope this won't effect the approval of those additional funds I asked to filter the mercury from the campus water supply. Not that we need that! Oh, boy, I should've typed that.

The guys are great, except for Bitter. They get a little rambunctious sometimes. Sure, they replaced the hot water heater with a keg of beer and once, they filled my room to capacity with unused tampons. But deep down, we have a bond and a mutual respect that will never be broken. Guys, can I have my fucking car back now?!

I'd like to meet a rich--- I mean, cultured woman of means--- I mean, a woman who is financially secure. Not that I'm not or that money means everything to me because--- Well, money only means certain things to me. I don't need you to be rich, but if you are rich I possess the skills to manage large sums of money that maybe the pool boy with the washboard stomach doesn't. Or that Gamma House guy with the Porsche. Think his daddy taught him to budget his allowance on a ledger? I don't think so!

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