Ask the DM

Tony DiGerolamo is the writer/creator of three comic book series:The Travelers, Jersey Devil and The Fix.
He is the regular writer for the comic book series, Everknights, and a writer for The Simpsons comic book.
He has had two novels, three movies and a series of role-playing game manuals produced.
He is also a semi-professional Dungeon Master.
He will give you advice.

Unsure in Utah Dear DM, I've been seeing this guy for a few weeks. We've been on about eight dates and I think he's great, but one thing keeps ruining it. Almost every time we get together, he gets interrupted by his job either by cellphone or pager. I like this guy, but I feel like I'll always be second to his work. What should I do? Dear Unsure: Much like a weekly role-playing game session, relationships require time, energy and focus. I remember a DM I had that just couldn't make time for his players. I mean, he was a great DM, don't get me wrong, we had a great time. He was always distracted by his job, his wife, his kids. His dungeons became staid and distant. It was like his NPC's totally took us for granted. Finally, I was like, "Hey, man, if I'm the only one in this game, I think I should know." By then, it was too late. He tried to make up for it by giving me more treasure and magic items, but it just felt kinda hollow. What I thought would be a beautiful campaign was really just a waste of time. I couldn't save the relationship, but it's still not too late for you. Tell your wannabe boyfriend to either turn off his phone and pager once in a while or you'll find yourself someone else. Shocked in Sheboygan Hey DM. I joined an Internet Dating site on the advice of a friend, but I can't believe the emails I've been getting! I mean, I put up a profile and check off that I was open to "Intimate Encounters", but the men on them are so disgusting and rude! I wanted a "discreet date" not a picture of someone's penis! Am I doing something wrong? Are all these Internet sites like this? Dear Shocked: Much like the now popular game of Texas Hold 'em and all poker in general, you really shouldn't play if you have an obvious "tell". These are signals that give away your hand and ruin your game. In your case, your "tell" is the wrong code words. In the world of Internet dating an "Intimate Encounter" or "Play" or "Open-minded" or any words used in a similar context means you're interested in sex. It doesn't mean you're a tramp or a slut, it just means that you're putting all your cards on the table and that you're not adverse to having your legs in the air sometime during the first date. Your other code word is "discreet date" or "secret date" or "sensitive". This is code for "I'm cheating on my boyfriend and/or husband." And, just like poker, if you cheat the only ones that will play with you are other cheaters. So in a nutshell: Yes, you're doing it all wrong. No, not all Internet sites are like the one you are using. If you a write a profile, be on clear what signals you are sending.		Coolness in Coatesville, Dear DM, I want to get some of my friends into role-playing, but they act like they are "too cool" to participate in something that geeky. Any suggestions? Yo Coolness: Yes. The two greatest stumbling blocks to getting "the cool kids" to play role-playing games is that A) they are more complex and difficult to understand than most games they've played before and B) the "coolness" factor is just too low for them. The first problem is easily addressed. If you're the DM, you're going to have to do most of the work. Crunch all the numbers for them and when they need to roll a die, just hand them the die they need and say, "Here, roll this." Interpret the action as they make decisions for their characters and eventually they'll say, "Wait a minute, how does all this work with the dice?" Once they ask that, you have them. The second problem is a fairly huge one that's been left unaddressed by most of the gaming community. Let's face it, the "coolness factor" of your average game of Dungeons and Dragons rates somewhere down at 3 and that's when you've got a girl in a chain mail bikini in the room. Unless your friends just happen to be into fantasy, you might try some other games that are specifically designed for their audience: Starchildren Role-playing Game is an RPG of XIG games. You play a glam rock star in the year 2040 trying to save the Earth in a post-apocalyptic world. Think a young David Bowie in full stage make up kicking ass! Vampire: The Requiem is the undead RPG from White Wolf. All the hot Goth chicks love to play in the Live Action version of this game. It's like giving them a free license to unleash their libidos in public. Toon: The Cartoon Role-Playing Game is from Steve Jackson Games. You can pull sledgehammers out of your pocket, drop anvils on your friends and substitute that cigar for a stick of dynamite. C'mon, it's funny! This game and a bottle of Jim Bean and you've got a party! Tony DiGerolamo's Complete Mafia for d20 is from yours truly and Living Room Games. Make a wiseguy, join the family, maintain respect, keep your weaknesses a secret and watch your back. Now Mafia-philes have their own game. Recreate a Mafia Crime Family drama without gettin' shot in da head. (I recommend you have the event catered by the local Italian eatery.) Don't be stupid. Play Complete Mafia...or else. Torn in Trenton Dear DM, Two of the players in my gaming group are very political active. They have outspoken political views that I personally disagree with. In the past, it hasn't been a problem, but with recent events in Iraq and the election heating up, all our gaming sessions seem to deteriorate into a political discussion. Last week, we had to end the gaming session early because the discussion became too heated. I respect my friends' views, but their politics is destroying my weekly game. What should I do? Dear Torn: Much like the Empire in Star Wars, you should nip this in the bud before the Rebellion gets out of hand. Crushing the Rebellion is likely to create several more angry Jedis, so why not take the first pro-active step before you get a light saber to the head? Invite your friends over for a political discussion. Yeah, I know, this wasn't the solution you were looking for, but if you do the discussion on a separate night, perhaps you can get out what everyone has to say before you ruin the game. Think about it. If all the Ewoks had gotten to air their grievances ahead of time, maybe they wouldn't've minded the new Death Star orbiting their planet. If Jabba had just worked out a payment plan with Han, Greedo wouldn't've gotten his guts splattered all over that cantina. Trust me, if you strike them down, they'll become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

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